True Stories De Nada

Business as usual

Business as usual

Business as usual

No it’s not

You’ll soon see

No moist talking

No moist talking

No close talking

No moist talking

Get away from me

No moist talking 

No close talking

No moist talking

No close talking

Get away from me 

You gotta stand six feet away from me

That’s just the way that it’s gotta be

I wanna hug the heck outta you 

No moist talking

No moist talking

No close talking

No moist talking

Get away from me 

No moist talking 

No close talking

No moist talking 

No close talking

Get away from me 

I wanna hug the heck outta you

I telling you I love you it’s true 

No moist talking 

No moist talking 

No close talking

No moist talking

Get away from me

Business as usual

Business as usual

Business as usual 

No it’s not

You’ll soon see 

IM JUST A CANADIAN PEASANT!

I’m just a Canadian Peasant

And this is my lot in life

So I drink and I smoke

And I have a little toke

To make the descent

Much more pleasant

We sit around the fire

We drink our beer and we conspire

About how we’re gonna throw out

The present government

But lo and behold

All our dreams they just grow cold

And we sit around and watch hockey

And we all grow old

‘Cause

I’m just a Canadian Peasant

And this is my lot in life

So I drink and I smoke

And I have a little toke

To make the descent 

Much more pleasant

They laid a pipeline

All across this land 

And they’ve pretty much destroyed

All the things I think are grand

So get up off your couch

And get out in the street

Otherwise we’re simply gonna

Have to admit defeat

‘Cause

I’m just a Canadian Peasant

And this is my lot in life

So I drink and I smoke

And I have a little toke

To make the descent

Much more pleasant

I’m just a Canadian Peasant

And this is my lot in life

So I drink and I smoke

And I have a little toke

To make the descent

Much more pleasant 

Oooh, Ooooo Oooo

What a thrill!

What a thrill!

What a thrill it would be

To be proper! (Proper!)

To be proper! (Proper!)

Proper just like you

What ever could I do

To receive the gift of your approval

I’ve got opinions too!

I’ve got opinions too!

I’ve got opinions too!

Oooh, Ooooo Oooo

What a thrill!

What a thrill!

What a thrill it would be

To be proper! (Proper!)

To be proper! (Proper!)

Proper just like you

What ever could I do

To receive the gift of your approval?

I’ve got opinions too!

I’ve got opinions too!

I’ve got opinions too!

Now there’s a behaviour

That’s a bit to be desired!

Ohhh, desire!

Desire to be plain like Fruit Of The Loom

If you follow all the rules you may just find

You’re living a fool!

If you jump through all the hoops 

You may just find you’re living in loops!

Living groundhogs day!

Are you there to stay?

With nothing

To look forwards to?

How about

You look forwards to?

Oooh, Ooooo Oooo

What a thrill!

What a thrill!

What a thrill it would be

To be proper! (Proper!)

To be proper! (Proper!)

Proper just like you

What ever could I do

To receive the gift of your approval?

I’ve got opinions too!

I’ve got opinions too!

I’ve got opinions too!

Oooh, Ooooo Oooo

What a thrill!

What a thrill!

What a thrill it would be

To be proper! (Proper!)

To be proper! (Proper!)

Proper just like you 

What ever could I do

To receive the gift of your approval?

I’ve got opinions too!

I’ve got opinions too!

I’ve got opinions too!

Now what’s more enticing

Than plain Janes and cookie cutters?

You know just like a scallop

You can outgrow a shell and swim freely!

True!

Oooh, Ooooo Oooo

What a thrill!

What a thrill!

What a thrill it would be

To be proper! (Proper!)

To be proper! (Proper!)

Proper just like you

What ever could I do

To receive the gift of your approval?

I’ve got opinions too!

I’ve got opinions too!

I’ve got opinions too!

Oooh, Ooooo Oooo

What a thrill! 

You gotta practice real hard

To get good at something

No matter how hard I try

I can’t knock her up!

But I can rock her world

While we practice

Makin bay beez

Woooooo

Practice real haarrrd

He really cares for me

He got a vasectomy

But I can rock his world

While we practice

Makin bay beez

Woooooo

Gotta practice hard

No matter how hard I try

I can’t knock her up!

But I can rock her world

While we practice

Makin bay beez

Woooooo

She’s of age and she likes it

Yeah yeah (yeah yeah)

She’s of age and she likes it

He’s of age and he likes it

Yeah yeah (yeah yeah)

She’s of age and she likes it 

She’s takin’ her pill (takin’ her pill)

She’s gettin’ her fill (gettin’ her fill)

She’s of age and she likes it

Yeah yeah 

She’s of age and she likes it 

I’m tryin to be happy

I’m tryin to be glad yeah

I’m tryna stay away from all

The bad things I can’t have

I know that I will get what I want yeah

When push comes to shove

I’ll end up on top

Because I’m (It ain’t no secret)

I’m Joanzin (It ain’t no secret)

I’m Joanzin for nature (It ain’t no secret)

I’m Joanzin for cake yeah (It ain’t no secret)

I got a heavy thirst

I just can’t slake

I sold my first born

I cashed a rubber cheque yeah

And I don’t give a fuck no

And I don’t give a heck yeah

I got ambition I will get what I want yeah

When push comes to shove

I’ll end up on top

Because I’m (It ain’t no secret)

I’m Joanzin (It ain’t no secret)

I’m Joanzin (It ain’t no secret)

I’m Joanzin for you oooh (It ain’t no secret)

I’m Joanzin for me yeah (It ain’t no secret)

I don’t even know

What I’m gonna be

I’m tryin to be happy

I’m tryin to be glad yeah

I’m tryna stay away from all

The bad things I can’t have 

I know that

I will get what I want yeah

When push comes to shove 

I’ll end up on top

Because I’m (It ain’t no secret)

I’m Joanzin (It ain’t no secret)

I’m Joanzin (It ain’t no secret)

I’m Joanzin (It ain’t no secret)

I’m Jo-oh-oh-zin 

I’m Joanzin 

60’s 70’s 80’s 90’s

Boob sox boob sox

60’s 70’s 80’s 90’s

Boob sox boob sox

60’s 70’s 80’s 90’s

Boob sox boob sox

60’s 70’s 80’s 90’s

Boob sox boob sox

60’s 70’s 80’s 90’s

Boob sox boob sox

60’s 70’s 80’s 90’s

Boob sox boob sox

One day I will have boob sox

One day they will hang down

One day I will have boob sox

One day they’ll trickle down

60’s 70’s 80’s 90’s

BOOB SOX!

To Be Added!!

Shepherd’s pie for one

Every single day

Shepherd’s pie for one

It’s way harder this way ya ya ya ya ya

Shepherd’s pie for one

Every single day

Shepherd’s pie for one

It’s way harder this way ya ya ya ya ya

Now I got a wife and kids

I’m making double batches

Really wish these ankle biters

Never woulda hatched

Shepherd’s pie for one

Every single day

Shepherd’s pie for one

It’s way harder this way ya ya ya ya ya

Shepherd’s pie for one

Every single day

Shepherd’s pie for one

It’s way harder this way ya ya ya ya ya

All I got’s one little potato

And one little pea 

Two kernels of corn

And a pound of beef

Mmmmm mmmmm mmmm

Shepherd’s pie for one

Every single day

Shepherd’s pie for one

It’s way harder this way ya ya ya ya ya

Shepherd’s pie for one

Every single day

Shepherd’s pie for one

It’s way harder this way ya ya ya ya ya

Wish I could back

To making double batches

For that little wife of mine

And all those kids I hatched

I wish I could go back

I wish I could go back

I wish I could go back

I wish I could go back

I wish I could go back

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Mmmmmmmmmmmm

ooooooooooooooooooo

Shepherd’s pie for one! 

Verboten

Verboten

Verboten

We go to bars and clubs (Clubs!)

We act like fools and thugs (Thugs!)

We go to clubs and bars (Bars!)

We act like freaks and stars (Stars!)

Verboten

Verboten

Verboten

We go to bars and clubs (Clubs!)

We act like fools and thugs (Thugs!)

We go to clubs and bars (Bars!)

We act like freaks and stars (Stars!)

Verboten

Verboten

Verboten

Verboten

Get drunk get kicked out

Go home get greasy

We go to bars and clubs (Clubs!)

We act like fools and thugs (Thugs!)

We go to bars and clubs (Clubs!)

We act like fools and thugs (Thugs!)

We go to clubs and bars (Bars!)

We act like freaks and stars (Stars!) 

Uncle Google

Tell me something useful

Tell me something truthful

Uncle Google

Tell me something

I don’t know

Uncle Google

Tell me something truthful

Tell me something useful

Uncle Google

Tell me something I don’t know

Uncle Google

Tell me something truthful

Tell me something useful

Uncle Google

Tell me something

That I don’t know 

Well I used ask my Ma 

And I used ask my Pa

But now I just ask

Uncle Google

Uncle Google

Tell me something truthful

Tell me something useful

Uncle Google

Tell me something

That you know

Uncle Google

Tell me something truthful

Tell me something useful

Uncle Google

Tell me something I don’t know

I used ask my Ma 

And I used ask my Pa

But now I just ask

Uncle Google

When did the cowbell become a  musical instrument?

“Cowbells first appeared in American

hillbilly music in the nineteen

twenties, they have also been used as

an instrument in more recent popular music.” 

Uncle Google

Tell me something useful

Tell me something truthful

Uncle Google

Tell me something

I don’t know

Uncle Google

Tell me something truthful

Tell me something useful

Uncle Google

Tell me something

I don’t know

Well I used ask my Ma 

And I used ask my Pa

But now I just ask

Uncle Google

What is the definition of plutocracy?

“Plutocracy is a political system where

the wealthy govern, when the richest

people have all of the power in a society.”

Uncle Google

Tell me something truthful

Tell me something useful

Uncle Google

Tell me something I don’t know

Well I used ask my Ma

And I used ask my Pa

But now I just ask

Uncle Google 

Dave's not here No

Dave's not here No

Dave's not here No

Dave's not here No  

He's got the shit yeah

He’s got the beer

Funny thing is

Dave's not here

Dave's not here No

Dave's not here No

Dave's not here No

Dave's not here No 

I called a million times

I've searched all around the joint

I have to wonder

What's is the point

Dave's not here No

Dave's not here No

Dave's not here No

Dave's not here No 

I know another guy

What will we do

I just found out  

When I saw you from across the bar

I couldn’t help but notice how good lookin’ you are

With your tight jeans

And your tight little curls

So I sipped on courage and made my way across the bar floor

I ain’t  been laid in 12 years

So I went out and I had a few beers

That’s when I thought I might meet a cutie

Take her home to my pad

And I might get lucky

Is it parted in the middle?

Oh no no no it’s a little on the side

Is it parted in the middle?

Oh no no no It’s a little on the side

When we walked out of the bar

Everyone started noticing how lucky you were

So I started second guessing my decision

I drank 10 more beers I took 10 more mollies

Then suddenly everything was pleasing

So I took her upstairs to my room

And I laid her down In my disgusting bed

That’s when my little heart filled with doom

‘Cause I knew that soon I’d have to show

Her my head

Is it parted in the middle?

Oh no no no it’s a little on the side

Is it parted in the middle?

Oh no no no It’s a little on the side

When we got to your front door

I realized I was broke

So when you offered me your bedroom floor

I took up that offer 

But instead I slept in your bed

Next thing I know

I am feeling you caressing you

And giving you head

I’ll never know why I could live such a lie

I thought then I could take it all the way

But then I found out

I got scared and I left halfway

Is it parted in the middle?

Oh no no no it’s a little on the side

Is it parted in the middle?

Oh no no no It’s a little on the side

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHYYYYYYY 

You come outta the bar

And you’re swinging fists and tits YEAH! 

I’ll bet you wish that you were livin’ up in Kits

I gotta get outta here I gotta get out in a hurry

‘Cause I’m gonna catch a mother fuckin’ skytrain

And take my ass at least out to Surrey

I don’t wanna be stuck in East Van

(EAST VAN! EAST VAN! EAST VAN! EAST VAN!)

Drinkin’ whiskey and snortin’ cocaine

(EAST VAN! EAST VAN! EAST VAN! EAST VAN!)

Stuck in East Van my whole life through

(EAST VAN! EAST VAN! EAST VAN! EAST VAN!)

What will I become? What will I ever do?

I’m gonna get a real job and move on up to Kerrisdale

I might take up hot yoga and buy some Lululemon apparel

I gotta drag this brain and take it back to school 

I don’t wanna end up being another East Van fool

I don’t wanna be stuck in East Van

(EAST VAN! EAST VAN! EAST VAN! EAST VAN!)

Drinkin’ whiskey and snortin’ cocaine

(EAST VAN! EAST VAN! EAST VAN! EAST VAN!)

Stuck in East Van my whole life through

(EAST VAN! EAST VAN! EAST VAN! EAST VAN!)

What will I become? What will I ever do?

I’m gonna drag my sorry ass and take it down to Jericho Beach yeah!

With an intellectual novel and lay there like a big burnt peach

If I don’t get away from my East Van friends just for a day

I’ll end up in a basement suite dyin’ this way

I don’t wanna be stuck in East Van

(EAST VAN! EAST VAN! EAST VAN! EAST VAN!)

Drinkin’ whiskey and smokin’ cocaine

(EAST VAN! EAST VAN! EAST VAN! EAST VAN!)

Stuck in East Van my whole life through

(EAST VAN! EAST VAN! EAST VAN! EAST VAN!)

What will I become? What will I ever do? 

Tell me who you know

I’ll tell you who you are

If you don’t know anyone

You won’t go far

I’m the cream of the crop

I’m the best of the best

If you wanna be my friend

I’ll put you to the test

My momma rocks heels

Like she’s a rock star

My daddy drives a black ragtop car

I went to university at UBC and McGill

My daddy paid a lot

So I didn’t fail

Talk yourself up

I am the best

Talk yourself up

I’m the best

Roll it like a movie back in 72

You know James Bond

He’s quite the dude

But you don’t know If he’s nice or he’s rude

You’re on the top

And he’s on the bottom

You gotta take whatcha got

When you got em

Potato potahto tomato tomahto

I’ll take you out

And show you around

I know everybody in town

Whoooooaaa talk your self upppp

I am the best NO I’m the?

Talk yourself up 6 degrees of separation in between me n Kevin bacon

2 degrees of separation in between me and Kelly Osborne

Uhhh... I had lunch with Uncle once

Uuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Here to express

Worried about how I’m dressed?!!

I’ve fuckin' had it!!

Think your stacked full of status

Herding with the masses

Head is always madness

Materials and wealth

Make up the social classes

I kicked Fraser’s ass in 72

If you don’t know me

You don’t know what I do

I’m Cassius Clay, I’m Mohamed Ali

I’m a conscientious objector

In my day you see

I am the best

Do you accept?

Accept me as one of you?

Do you accept me?

Accept me as one of you?

Do you accept me? 

Accept me as one of you?

Do you accept?

I am the…best