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The Shit Talkers
The Shit Talkers
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True Stories De Nada

Moist Talkin'

Business as usual

Business as usual

Business as usual

No it’s not

You’ll soon see


No moist talking

No moist talking

No close talking

No moist talking

Get away from me


No moist talking 

No close talking

No moist talking

No close talking

Get away from me 


You gotta stand six feet away from me

That’s just the way that it’s gotta be

I wanna hug the heck outta you 


No moist talking

No moist talking

No close talking

No moist talking

Get away from me 


No moist talking 

No close talking

No moist talking 

No close talking

Get away from me 


I wanna hug the heck outta you

I telling you I love you it’s true 


No moist talking 

No moist talking 

No close talking

No moist talking

Get away from me


Business as usual

Business as usual

Business as usual 

No it’s not

You’ll soon see 

Canadian Peasant

IM JUST A CANADIAN PEASANT!


I’m just a Canadian Peasant

And this is my lot in life

So I drink and I smoke

And I have a little toke

To make the descent

Much more pleasant


We sit around the fire

We drink our beer and we conspire

About how we’re gonna throw out

The present government

But lo and behold

All our dreams they just grow cold

And we sit around and watch hockey

And we all grow old

‘Cause


I’m just a Canadian Peasant

And this is my lot in life

So I drink and I smoke

And I have a little toke

To make the descent 

Much more pleasant


They laid a pipeline

All across this land 

And they’ve pretty much destroyed

All the things I think are grand

So get up off your couch

And get out in the street

Otherwise we’re simply gonna

Have to admit defeat

‘Cause


I’m just a Canadian Peasant

And this is my lot in life

So I drink and I smoke

And I have a little toke

To make the descent

Much more pleasant


I’m just a Canadian Peasant

And this is my lot in life

So I drink and I smoke

And I have a little toke

To make the descent

Much more pleasant 

Proper

Oooh, Ooooo Oooo

What a thrill!

What a thrill!

What a thrill it would be

To be proper! (Proper!)

To be proper! (Proper!)

Proper just like you

What ever could I do

To receive the gift of your approval

I’ve got opinions too!

I’ve got opinions too!

I’ve got opinions too!


Oooh, Ooooo Oooo

What a thrill!

What a thrill!

What a thrill it would be

To be proper! (Proper!)

To be proper! (Proper!)

Proper just like you

What ever could I do

To receive the gift of your approval?

I’ve got opinions too!

I’ve got opinions too!

I’ve got opinions too!


Now there’s a behaviour

That’s a bit to be desired!

Ohhh, desire!

Desire to be plain like Fruit Of The Loom

If you follow all the rules you may just find

You’re living a fool!

If you jump through all the hoops 

You may just find you’re living in loops!

Living groundhogs day!

Are you there to stay?

With nothing

To look forwards to?

How about

You look forwards to?


Oooh, Ooooo Oooo

What a thrill!

What a thrill!

What a thrill it would be

To be proper! (Proper!)

To be proper! (Proper!)

Proper just like you

What ever could I do

To receive the gift of your approval?

I’ve got opinions too!

I’ve got opinions too!

I’ve got opinions too!


Oooh, Ooooo Oooo

What a thrill!

What a thrill!

What a thrill it would be

To be proper! (Proper!)

To be proper! (Proper!)

Proper just like you 

What ever could I do

To receive the gift of your approval?

I’ve got opinions too!

I’ve got opinions too!

I’ve got opinions too!


Now what’s more enticing

Than plain Janes and cookie cutters?

You know just like a scallop

You can outgrow a shell and swim freely!

True!


Oooh, Ooooo Oooo

What a thrill!

What a thrill!

What a thrill it would be

To be proper! (Proper!)

To be proper! (Proper!)

Proper just like you

What ever could I do

To receive the gift of your approval?

I’ve got opinions too!

I’ve got opinions too!

I’ve got opinions too!

Oooh, Ooooo Oooo

What a thrill! 

Makin' Bay Beez

You gotta practice real hard

To get good at something

No matter how hard I try

I can’t knock her up!

But I can rock her world


While we practice

Makin bay beez

Woooooo


Practice real haarrrd

He really cares for me

He got a vasectomy

But I can rock his world


While we practice

Makin bay beez

Woooooo


Gotta practice hard

No matter how hard I try

I can’t knock her up!

But I can rock her world


While we practice

Makin bay beez

Woooooo


She’s of age and she likes it

Yeah yeah (yeah yeah)

She’s of age and she likes it

He’s of age and he likes it

Yeah yeah (yeah yeah)

She’s of age and she likes it 


She’s takin’ her pill (takin’ her pill)

She’s gettin’ her fill (gettin’ her fill)

She’s of age and she likes it

Yeah yeah 

She’s of age and she likes it 

Joan Singh

I’m tryin to be happy

I’m tryin to be glad yeah

I’m tryna stay away from all

The bad things I can’t have

I know that I will get what I want yeah

When push comes to shove

I’ll end up on top


Because I’m (It ain’t no secret)

I’m Joanzin (It ain’t no secret)

I’m Joanzin for nature (It ain’t no secret)

I’m Joanzin for cake yeah (It ain’t no secret)

I got a heavy thirst

I just can’t slake


I sold my first born

I cashed a rubber cheque yeah

And I don’t give a fuck no

And I don’t give a heck yeah

I got ambition I will get what I want yeah

When push comes to shove

I’ll end up on top


Because I’m (It ain’t no secret)

I’m Joanzin (It ain’t no secret)

I’m Joanzin (It ain’t no secret)

I’m Joanzin for you oooh (It ain’t no secret)

I’m Joanzin for me yeah (It ain’t no secret)

I don’t even know

What I’m gonna be


I’m tryin to be happy

I’m tryin to be glad yeah

I’m tryna stay away from all

The bad things I can’t have 

I know that

I will get what I want yeah

When push comes to shove 

I’ll end up on top


Because I’m (It ain’t no secret)

I’m Joanzin (It ain’t no secret)

I’m Joanzin (It ain’t no secret)

I’m Joanzin (It ain’t no secret)

I’m Jo-oh-oh-zin 

I’m Joanzin 

Boob Sox

60’s 70’s 80’s 90’s

Boob sox boob sox

60’s 70’s 80’s 90’s

Boob sox boob sox

60’s 70’s 80’s 90’s

Boob sox boob sox

60’s 70’s 80’s 90’s

Boob sox boob sox

60’s 70’s 80’s 90’s

Boob sox boob sox

60’s 70’s 80’s 90’s

Boob sox boob sox


One day I will have boob sox

One day they will hang down

One day I will have boob sox

One day they’ll trickle down


60’s 70’s 80’s 90’s

BOOB SOX!

Vino

To Be Added!!

Shepards Pie

Shepherd’s pie for one

Every single day

Shepherd’s pie for one

It’s way harder this way ya ya ya ya ya


Shepherd’s pie for one

Every single day

Shepherd’s pie for one

It’s way harder this way ya ya ya ya ya


Now I got a wife and kids

I’m making double batches

Really wish these ankle biters

Never woulda hatched


Shepherd’s pie for one

Every single day

Shepherd’s pie for one

It’s way harder this way ya ya ya ya ya


Shepherd’s pie for one

Every single day

Shepherd’s pie for one

It’s way harder this way ya ya ya ya ya


All I got’s one little potato

And one little pea 

Two kernels of corn

And a pound of beef

Mmmmm mmmmm mmmm


Shepherd’s pie for one

Every single day

Shepherd’s pie for one

It’s way harder this way ya ya ya ya ya


Shepherd’s pie for one

Every single day

Shepherd’s pie for one

It’s way harder this way ya ya ya ya ya


Wish I could back

To making double batches

For that little wife of mine

And all those kids I hatched


I wish I could go back

I wish I could go back

I wish I could go back

I wish I could go back

I wish I could go back

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Mmmmmmmmmmmm

ooooooooooooooooooo


Shepherd’s pie for one! 

Verboten

Verboten

Verboten

Verboten


We go to bars and clubs (Clubs!)

We act like fools and thugs (Thugs!)

We go to clubs and bars (Bars!)

We act like freaks and stars (Stars!)


Verboten

Verboten

Verboten


We go to bars and clubs (Clubs!)

We act like fools and thugs (Thugs!)

We go to clubs and bars (Bars!)

We act like freaks and stars (Stars!)


Verboten

Verboten

Verboten

Verboten


Get drunk get kicked out

Go home get greasy


We go to bars and clubs (Clubs!)

We act like fools and thugs (Thugs!)


We go to bars and clubs (Clubs!)

We act like fools and thugs (Thugs!)

We go to clubs and bars (Bars!)

We act like freaks and stars (Stars!) 

Uncle Google

Uncle Google

Tell me something useful

Tell me something truthful

Uncle Google

Tell me something

I don’t know


Uncle Google

Tell me something truthful

Tell me something useful

Uncle Google

Tell me something I don’t know


Uncle Google

Tell me something truthful

Tell me something useful

Uncle Google

Tell me something

That I don’t know 


Well I used ask my Ma 

And I used ask my Pa

But now I just ask

Uncle Google


Uncle Google

Tell me something truthful

Tell me something useful

Uncle Google

Tell me something

That you know


Uncle Google

Tell me something truthful

Tell me something useful

Uncle Google

Tell me something I don’t know


I used ask my Ma 

And I used ask my Pa

But now I just ask

Uncle Google


When did the cowbell become a  musical instrument?


“Cowbells first appeared in American

hillbilly music in the nineteen

twenties, they have also been used as

an instrument in more recent popular music.” 


Uncle Google

Tell me something useful

Tell me something truthful

Uncle Google

Tell me something

I don’t know


Uncle Google

Tell me something truthful

Tell me something useful

Uncle Google

Tell me something

I don’t know


Well I used ask my Ma 

And I used ask my Pa

But now I just ask

Uncle Google


What is the definition of plutocracy?


“Plutocracy is a political system where

the wealthy govern, when the richest

people have all of the power in a society.”


Uncle Google

Tell me something truthful

Tell me something useful

Uncle Google

Tell me something I don’t know


Well I used ask my Ma

And I used ask my Pa

But now I just ask

Uncle Google 

I Scream EP

Ewwwww

How can I unhear?

How can I unsee? 

Ewwwww 

Don’t tell me 


How can I unhear?

How can I unsee? 

Ewwwww 

Don’t tell me   


No stop I’ll puke

I promise

Eww no gross out stories  


He saved a pile of scabs 

They were moving 

The cockroaches had they’re way

They were chewing


She hadn’t washed her hair in six months

What was she thinking?

I had to wash it for her

It was stinking   


No stop I’ll puke 

I promise

Eww no gross out stories   


How can I unhear? 

How can I unsee? 

Ewwwww 

Don’t tell me 


How can I unhear?

How can I unsee? 

Ewwwww 

Don’t tell me   


No stop I’ll puke

I promise 

Eww no gross out stories


[Clashesque outro]


You gotta block out all that negative stuff 

That’s coming in daily from all over the place 

And you gotta think about 

Peace love and understanding 

Think about positive things, right…like 

Bunnies and sparkles and bubbles and rainbows 

Normal Love

I just want a normal love

Yeahh that kind that comes from up above

Whoooaa yeah they tell you fits like a glove

That’s what they call Na na na na normal love


I want somebody (I love you)

Who really loves me (I hate you)

I don’t want somebody (I love you)

Who thinks they’re above me(I hate you)

I don’t need somebody (I love you)

Who always thinks they’re right (I hate you)

Who wants to stay up (I love you)

And fight all night


I just want a normal love

Yeahh that kind that comes from up above

Whoooaa yeah they tell you fits like a glove

That’s what they call

Na na na na normal love


I just want a normal love

Yeahh that kind that comes from up above

Whoooaa Whoooaa Whoooaa it fits like a glove

That’s what they call

Na na na na normal love


I want somebody (I love you)

Who really loves me (I hate you)

I don’t want somebody (I love you)

Who thinks they’re above me (I hate you)

I don’t need some stupid (I love you)

Useless fuckin cheater (I hate you)

Who thinks he owns her (I love you)

And he wants to beat her 

Shut Up

(Shut up!)

I can't stand to hear your voice in my ear what you say just drives me insane

(Pissed off!)

I know you have problems but so do I and I don't think that you even try


I don't feel sorry for you (No!)

I don't feel sorry for you (No!)

I don't feel sorry for you


(Shut up!)

All you do is complain and bitch and whine is that really how you like to spend your time?

(Pissed off!)

Now its time to figure it out and let it pass or this scene's just never gonna last


I don't feel sorry for you (No!)

I don't feel sorry for you (No!)

I don't feel sorry for you


I don't feel sorry for you (No!)

I don't feel sorry for you (No!)

I don't feel sorry for you


(Shut up!)

All you do is complain and bitch and whine is that really how you like to spend your time?

(Pissed off!)

Now its time to figure it out and let it pass or this scene's just never gonna last


I don't feel sorry for you (No!)

I don't feel sorry for you (No!)

I don't feel sorry for you


SHUT UP! 

Late In French

You can call me Angie

You can call me Dick

But don’t call me something

That’s gonna stick

Cause I don’t wanna be called late for dinner

I just want to be a winner


Don’t call me late in French

I’ll get bugged and recompense

Don’t call me late in French


JE SUIS EN RETARDE (yeah!)

JE SUIS EN RETARDE

JE SUIS EN RETARDE

JE SUIS EN RETARDE!


You can call me Angie

You can call me Dick

But don’t call me something

That’s gonna stick

Cause I don’t wanna be called late for dinner

I just want to be a winner


Don’t call me late in French

I’ll get bugged and recompense

Don’t call me late in French


JE SUIS EN RETARDE (yeah!)

JE SUIS EN RETARDE

JE SUIS EN RETARDE

JE SUIS EN RETARDE!


You can call me Angie

You can call me Dick

But don’t call me something

That’s gonna stick

Cause I don’t wanna be called late for dinner

I just want to be a winner


Don’t call me late in French

I’ll get bugged and recompense

Don’t call me late in French


JE SUIS EN RETARDE (yeah!)

JE SUIS EN RETARDE

JE SUIS EN RETARDE

JE SUIS EN RETARDE! 

Betty

Betty's fucking herself on stage (Yes she is!)

Betty's fucking herself on stage (Yes she is!)

Betty's fucking herself on stage (Hot ‘n juicy)

Betty Betty Betty!


Betty's fucking herself on stage (Yes she is!)

Betty's fucking herself on stage (Yes she is!)

Betty's fucking herself on stage (Hot ‘n juicy)

Betty Betty Betty!


Betty's fucking herself on stage (Yes she is!)

Betty's fucking herself on stage (Yes she is!)

Betty's fucking herself on stage (Hot ‘n juicy)

Betty Betty Betty!


Betty's fucking herself on stage (Yes she is!)

Betty's fucking herself on stage (Yes she is!)

Betty's fucking herself on stage (Hot ‘n juicy)

Betty Betty Betty! (Hot ‘n juicy)

Betty Betty Betty!

Betty Betty Betty! (Hot ‘n juicy)

Betty Betty! 

8th Dick

[VERSE]

So he asked me if I'd swallow?

I said ok.

He said no attachment. I said ok.


[CHORUS]

Does it feel good? Oh tell me how does it feel?

Your cold eyes avoiding looking in mine?

Does it feel good Oh tell me how does it feel?

I'm just an object you can sexualize.


Does it feel good? Oh tell me how does it feel?

Your cold eyes avoiding looking in mine?

Does it feel good Oh tell me how does it feel?

I'm just an object you can sexualize.


[VERSE]

Now he's lying dead on the floor.

I got his dick in a jar.

Good thing there's no attachment

Or maybe I'd be sad.


[CHORUS]

Does it feel good? Oh tell me how does it feel?

Your cold eyes avoiding looking in mine?

Does it feel good Oh tell me how does it feel?

I'm just an object you can sexualize.


Does it feel good? Oh tell me how does it feel?

Your cold eyes avoiding looking in mine?

Does it feel good Oh tell me how does it feel?

I'm just an object you can sexualize.


[VERSE]

This is now my 8th dick.

That I got in a jar.

And every time I feel sad I think about the dicks I stole

REVENGE TO THE DICKS THAT STOLE MY HEART! 


[CHORUS]

Does it feel good? Oh tell me how does it feel?

Your cold eyes avoiding looking in mine?

Does it feel good Oh tell me how does it feel?

I'm just an object you can sexualize.


Does it feel good? Oh tell me how does it feel?

Your cold eyes avoiding looking in mine?

Does it feel good Oh tell me how does it feel?

I'm just an object you can sexualize.


[OUTRO]

Too many times I've looked for love in relationships, too many times I've gotten fucked... Over... Heart broken! Now I'm mourning the death of childhood love fantasy. Living against my old morals. Escaping the pain no sorrow. Embracing a man's world. But I'm in cunt roll now. No longer out of control I'm in cunt roll I'm in control I'm in cunt roll I'm in cunt ro oh oh oh ohhhlllll.... 

The They

They are The They yes

And They are the ones


They are the one percent

They think that money is heaven sent yeah

They think we are cannon fodder

They don’t give a shit about air and water

They’ll wreck the earth with cars

They’ll just fly away to Mars

They are The They


They are The They yes

And They are the ones

They are The They yes

And They are the ones


(WHO) That is what They say (ARE THEY?)

(WHO) That’s what They say (ARE THEY?)

(WHO) Who the FUCK are they (ARE THEY?)

(WHO) That’s what They say (ARE THEY?)


They are The They yes

And They are the ones

They are The They yes

And They are the ones


They are the one percent

They think that money is heaven sent yeah

They think we are cannon fodder

They don’t give a shit about air and water

They’ll fly away to Mars

They’ll wreck the fuckin’ earth with cars

They are The They

They are the ones to fight

Fukn Guyz

They never take out the garbage

Like they said they would

They never pick you up after work

Even though they said they could


They said they could

They said they would


Call you up for a drink

Tell a fantastic tale

They just wanna fuck you

But you thought it was love


Fukn guyz, fukn guyz, fukn guyz

Any size, any size, any size

Fukn guyz, fukn guyz, fukn guyz

Any size, any size, any size

Fukn guyz, fukn guyz, fukn guyz

Any size, any size, any size


Walked into the party

And I fucked every guy

I see a brand new prospect

With a sparkle in his eye


He said he would

I said I could

And boy was it good


Fukn guyz, fukn guyz, fukn guyz! 

Self Titled EP

Dave's Not Here

Dave's not here No

Dave's not here No

Dave's not here No

Dave's not here No  


He's got the shit yeah

He’s got the beer

Funny thing is

Dave's not here


Dave's not here No

Dave's not here No

Dave's not here No

Dave's not here No 


I called a million times

I've searched all around the joint

I have to wonder

What's is the point


Dave's not here No

Dave's not here No

Dave's not here No

Dave's not here No 


I know another guy

What will we do

I just found out  

Parted

When I saw you from across the bar

I couldn’t help but notice how good lookin’ you are

With your tight jeans

And your tight little curls

So I sipped on courage and made my way across the bar floor


I ain’t  been laid in 12 years

So I went out and I had a few beers

That’s when I thought I might meet a cutie

Take her home to my pad

And I might get lucky


Is it parted in the middle?

Oh no no no it’s a little on the side

Is it parted in the middle?

Oh no no no It’s a little on the side


When we walked out of the bar

Everyone started noticing how lucky you were

So I started second guessing my decision

I drank 10 more beers I took 10 more mollies

Then suddenly everything was pleasing


So I took her upstairs to my room

And I laid her down In my disgusting bed

That’s when my little heart filled with doom

‘Cause I knew that soon I’d have to show

Her my head


Is it parted in the middle?

Oh no no no it’s a little on the side

Is it parted in the middle?

Oh no no no It’s a little on the side


When we got to your front door

I realized I was broke

So when you offered me your bedroom floor

I took up that offer 

But instead I slept in your bed

Next thing I know

I am feeling you caressing you

And giving you head


I’ll never know why I could live such a lie

I thought then I could take it all the way

But then I found out

I got scared and I left halfway


Is it parted in the middle?

Oh no no no it’s a little on the side

Is it parted in the middle?

Oh no no no It’s a little on the side


WHY WHY WHY WHY WHYYYYYYY 

East Van

You come outta the bar

And you’re swinging fists and tits YEAH! 

I’ll bet you wish that you were livin’ up in Kits

I gotta get outta here I gotta get out in a hurry

‘Cause I’m gonna catch a mother fuckin’ skytrain

And take my ass at least out to Surrey


I don’t wanna be stuck in East Van

(EAST VAN! EAST VAN! EAST VAN! EAST VAN!)

Drinkin’ whiskey and snortin’ cocaine

(EAST VAN! EAST VAN! EAST VAN! EAST VAN!)

Stuck in East Van my whole life through

(EAST VAN! EAST VAN! EAST VAN! EAST VAN!)

What will I become? What will I ever do?


I’m gonna get a real job and move on up to Kerrisdale

I might take up hot yoga and buy some Lululemon apparel

I gotta drag this brain and take it back to school 

I don’t wanna end up being another East Van fool


I don’t wanna be stuck in East Van

(EAST VAN! EAST VAN! EAST VAN! EAST VAN!)

Drinkin’ whiskey and snortin’ cocaine

(EAST VAN! EAST VAN! EAST VAN! EAST VAN!)

Stuck in East Van my whole life through

(EAST VAN! EAST VAN! EAST VAN! EAST VAN!)

What will I become? What will I ever do?


I’m gonna drag my sorry ass and take it down to Jericho Beach yeah!

With an intellectual novel and lay there like a big burnt peach

If I don’t get away from my East Van friends just for a day

I’ll end up in a basement suite dyin’ this way


I don’t wanna be stuck in East Van

(EAST VAN! EAST VAN! EAST VAN! EAST VAN!)

Drinkin’ whiskey and smokin’ cocaine

(EAST VAN! EAST VAN! EAST VAN! EAST VAN!)

Stuck in East Van my whole life through

(EAST VAN! EAST VAN! EAST VAN! EAST VAN!)

What will I become? What will I ever do? 

Talk Yourself Up

Tell me who you know

I’ll tell you who you are

If you don’t know anyone

You won’t go far

I’m the cream of the crop

I’m the best of the best

If you wanna be my friend

I’ll put you to the test

My momma rocks heels

Like she’s a rock star

My daddy drives a black ragtop car

I went to university at UBC and McGill

My daddy paid a lot

So I didn’t fail

Talk yourself up

I am the best

Talk yourself up

I’m the best

Roll it like a movie back in 72

You know James Bond

He’s quite the dude

But you don’t know If he’s nice or he’s rude

You’re on the top

And he’s on the bottom

You gotta take whatcha got

When you got em

Potato potahto tomato tomahto

I’ll take you out

And show you around

I know everybody in town

Whoooooaaa talk your self upppp

I am the best NO I’m the?

Talk yourself up 6 degrees of separation in between me n Kevin bacon

2 degrees of separation in between me and Kelly Osborne

Uhhh... I had lunch with Uncle once

Uuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Here to express

Worried about how I’m dressed?!!

I’ve fuckin' had it!!

Think your stacked full of status

Herding with the masses

Head is always madness

Materials and wealth

Make up the social classes

I kicked Fraser’s ass in 72

If you don’t know me

You don’t know what I do

I’m Cassius Clay, I’m Mohamed Ali

I’m a conscientious objector

In my day you see

I am the best

Do you accept?

Accept me as one of you?

Do you accept me?

Accept me as one of you?

Do you accept me? 

Accept me as one of you?

Do you accept?

I am the…best 

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